Published April 30, 2013 on msnNOW.com
Tuition: expensive. Class sizes: smaller than kindergarten. The number of times you got drunk and stayed up all night talking about the assigned philosophy reading with your hall mates: significant. When you enrolled for four years at a private liberal arts college, you thought you knew what you were getting into. But really, nobody can prepare you for the level of creepiness you feel when you know a frightening amount of personal information about someone you’ve never met but see everyday in the library, the dining hall, the quad, the hallway and the bathroom because your school is so freaking small.
1. You attended protests where everyone agreed.
2. You could immediately tell when somebody on campus didn’t go to your school.
3. The wealthier your friends were, the worse they looked.
4. You still brag to your friends that you smoked pot with a professor this one time.
5. You didn’t sell back all your books because they looked so good on your bookshelf.
6. You don’t have any of the skills listed on a job application, but you can write one hell of a cover letter.
7. One of your application essays was on diversity.
8. The most common crime on campus was grand theft bike.
9. You often complained that the local Goodwill was always sold out of flannel.
10. You had to attend a “symposium” anytime anybody did anything sort of racist.
11. You played Quidditch.
12. You asked your professors about practical skills. They ignored you.
13. Your dining hall rocked.
14. You really, really like Bon Iver.
15. You’ve suffered a Frisbee to the head.
16. Your parents repeatedly asked you how your degree choice would land you a job.
17. In the real world, you recognize anybody from your school in an instant, even if you don’t know their name.
18. You had to read selections of Edward Said’s “Orientalism” for every class.
19. You’re not used to having to pay for condoms.
20. You love Wes Anderson movies.
21. You’ve been hit on by a guy who looks like this.
22. You are unemployed.
23. But you got a Fulbright!
24. You spent four years in a community of made up of some of the most creative, intelligent, and amazing people you’ll ever meet.